How To ? After My Biological Father Abandoned Help ?
country and when you do, I will make you a great nation, I will bless those that bless you and in you all the families of the earth will be blessed".
Have you ever thought about 'what if'? What if Abraham hadn't gone? What would have happened?
A lot of people came from the lineage of Abraham - Moses, King David, even Jesus Christ. If Abraham hadn't obeyed Gods command would any of those people even exist?
Maybe they would have, but we can't be certain. Everyone knows the basics of science. It takes a certain egg and a certain sperm to make a certain child. Have you ever thought about your own creation? I have. At one point my mother was married to a man and after seven years together they still didn't have children. My mother then had an affair with an older man whom was married to someone else and she conceived within a few "dates". Mothers husband went on to have children with his new wife after they separated and she also went on to have two more of her own. Why didn't they have children together? Why did it take my married biological father and my married mother to conceive me? Because it was the correct egg and sperm for my spirit to inhabit my body.
After my biological father abandoned my mother, she married another man. He was a very angry and abusive person. He tried to bury his hurt and pain by horribly mistreating my mother and drinking hard liquor. He wasn't the type of person that would ever admit that he needed anyone or anything, and unfortunately that man became known to me as my dad. He raised me from the time I was two years of age until I got married the first time at 18.
In my early 20s I became a Christian and one of the first things I started doing was praying for my family to commit their lives to Christ. I knew my dad was hard-hearted and only wanted religion on his terms; he certainly had no idea what a relationship with Jesus Christ would look like. I was the Christian anchor holding my family in place.
One day after being a Christian for a few years, I had had enough of the lifestyle. At that time, my life was taking a turn for the worse. I started thinking, 'if life is this hard being a Christian it couldn't be much harder not being one. Maybe walking away from God would give me some peace'. Then I heard God in my heart, "what about your dad? If you stop serving God, who is going to be the one that will pray for him to become a Christian?" I stopped dead in my tracks. I thought about 'what if'. What if I stop serving God and then everyone in this family is truly lost? It's one thing for me to think about going to hell myself, but it's quite another to take a whole group of people with me.
Needless to say, I didn't quit serving God and almost 40 years later I'm more passionate about my walk with Christ than ever. It took 20 years of praying for my dad and hearing that voice say "your dad will go to Heaven, but it will be a deathbed experience." He was eventually diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver and at the end of his journey he did commit his life to Christ. What if I had walked away from serving God back in my earlier days of struggle and doubt? I totally shudder to think about where I would be personally, but also where my family would have ended up. My mother has also passed away and just like my dad, she became a Christian at the end of her life. My brother accepted Christ too, and I'm still actively praying for my sister and her family.
Sometimes we are asked to do things that we just don't want to do. We may be called into a ministry that is similar to someone who is already successful. What they're doing seems so glamorous compared to what you have been asked to do. They have arrived, they are already living the life that you believe you are called to live... So how did they get there and you are just swimming circles? I watch the women ministers that have made it really big and are doing well with their ministries and I get frustrated sometimes, because I don't want to do the work they did to get there. I often believe God blessed them because they must be doing something right and in turn, I must be doing something wrong. But that's not it at all... It's work. No matter how you slice it - it's work. It may seem glamorous when they are talking about the places they travel to, their great incomes, nice clothes and money to live a good life, but what if they hadn't obeyed God? What if they hadn't done as He told them to do? Many of us would have missed out on tremendous teaching, preaching and life changing experiences if we didn't follow the gentle calling of God on our hearts.
I could sit and list all the things that could have happened if I hadn't obeyed. My 'What If' list would be long and decidedly dark. I'm currently at another 'what if' fork in the road - I'm called to be a Writer/Author/International Seminar Speaker with some preaching sprinkled in here and there. But, there's a price to be paid... I work a full-time day job. I go to work at approximately 7:30AM every day, I get one hour for lunch, and then I'm home at 5:30PM - 5 days a week. I also work some on Saturdays to make some extra money for the household, because our income is limited and the extra Saturday money comes in handy.
I'm tired when I come home and I virtually have no days off. When I don't work at my day job on Saturday, I am buying groceries and trying to have quality time with my husband. On Sunday we go to our Sunday morning church service and then work another service thereafter. I don't know about you, but I'm an introvert. I can be an extrovert to the point that people really think that's my true self, however, I have to have time for myself to regroup and recharge. If I haven't recharged, I'm cross and grumpy and not very good company for anyone. This life situation gives me a whole lot of excuses as to why I can't do what God has asked me to do.
The fact that God hasn't supernaturally changed our financial situation doesn't allow me to use these excuses. I've skirted what I've been called to do for too many years. As I continue aging, it's finally down to the wire.
What about you? What are you going to do with your 'what if' moment? You can't say you don't have one, because we all do. We all have those moments that we feel a stirring in our heart, but we're just not sure if we want to follow that command or not. Don't let your 'what if' moment cause you to lose what is possibly the best thing you will ever receive. I'm glad I didn't give up when faced with mine!
Bridget Johnson is a Writer/Author/International Seminar Speaker and is a Platinum Ezine Author. Bridget lives in Oklahoma with her husband, Peter.
Sure, life is about as good or great as our attitudes and positive persistence genuinely make it. That is one point I agree with William Clement Stone and a few others on "who have it". Honestly though, success can never be taken for granted, and it can never be taken for granted that failure is permanent in my reality and probably universal reality.
Sure, it is possible to "achieve" using force, fraud and "pure dumb luck" at times. This warning is in order though, and it is a simple warning: "Napoleon had his Waterloo, and lost his Star Sapphire charm." Understand? Conscious and honest success that is earned is the best success to have in my opinion and in the best of reality in reality in the opinion of those that are genuinely conscientious and conscious.
The attitude beyond all luck and "providence" is the one thing we genuinely have control of within ourselves whatever the outer conditions. So, we can train ourselves to look for opportunities everywhere that genuinely work for us or hope luck works out "at least". In fact, these words just came to me in a flash "opportunity management is what life comes down to when successful". Failures really do depend on the luck at the beginning of things when successful by chance, and then cannot repeat it with skill when called upon to.
To really win fully, we must develop fully in attitude, skill and understanding tolerance or really, really lose. So, I repeat for emphasis: "Napoleon had his Waterloo, and lost his Star Sapphire charm." Consider that a command for, "Do not depend on 'pure' luck, it will disappoint every time. So will depending on forces "outside of yourself" to genuinely win. After all, winning comes from developing skill and persevering, not lucky chances, charms and tricks a dog can try to do.
So, to end this article on a great note: I can honestly say that I am always striving to have the great and receptive attitude that works to make my life ultimately a winner. I did not say that I was perfect at it. I said that I work at it all the time, listening and realistically receptive, learning all the time why to deal with it with the how and the rest of it. I am grateful for it all, right down to my "check up from the neck up" realities that serve to give me understanding. Thank God I am that rational.
My name is Joshua Clayton, I am a freelance writer based in Inglewood, California. I also write under a few pen-names and aliases, but Joshua Clayton is my real name, and I write by that for the most part now. I am a philosophical writer and objective thinker and honest action taker. I also work at a senior center in Gardena, California as my day job, among other things, but primarily I am a writer.
Are you perhaps feeling that now's the time to improve your health and your life? Good habits are often crucial to achieving good results and a positive outcome.
You may be looking to lose weight, become fitter, more successful, are motivated to do well at work or feel it's time to extend your circle of friends; all require sustained effort to continue beyond the first few enthusiastic days.
Let good habits support good results
- The first thing to appreciate about good habits is that they must have a real resonance for you. If you're not especially bothered about being slimmer, fitter or more successful, then that lack of enthusiasm won't sustain you through cold dark evenings or on the tough days when your will power starts to waver. Having friends or family who are pushing you to 'improve' only increases your stress levels, resentment and maybe even feelings of low self-esteem. Pick good habits that feel right for you.
- Small steps are a positive way to move towards your bigger goals. Stepping-stones can help to prevent you from feeling overwhelmed at having to tackle everything all at once. Recognise each milestone you achieve; give yourself credit for enrolling in that class, not eating that cake, declining that alcoholic drink. Each decision takes you nearer to those good results.
- Stay focused, but also appreciate that sometimes other options may appear which can add value to your life. Don't allow yourself to become too distracted from your agreed good habits but equally be ready for great opportunities that may come along. Ring-fence the time, money or mental energy you expend on distractions. Allow yourself to make the most of them and enjoy what they bring to your life, but don't let them take you away from the big picture and your ultimate goal.
- Being accountable to others can be a great motivator. Having to check in regularly and report on your progress ensures that you keep your eye on each stage of the journey. Knowing that you've a regular date in the diary can quickly push temptations out of your mind.
- Joining a group and working together on shared goals can provide a good support network. Exchanging tips, advice and motivational stories can give a real boost on those tired, unenthusiastic days. And if we know our attendance is important to the group's survival it can inspire us to continue going. Being a group member, even when it's online, can encourage us to stick with our good habits. The downside though is that if one or two members lose their enthusiasm it can demotivate the rest.
- Sometimes paying upfront to join a club or gym pushes people to go regularly, whilst others lose interest and go only a couple of times even after paying out all that money. For me, I've committed to a weekly delivery of locally grown organic vegetables. It's inspired me to eat at least one item from the box every day and it's good to cook from scratch, eat fresh organic meals, shop local and sometimes try new things that I've never cooked before. Having it arrive every week means there's no excuse to slack off from eating this healthy veg, and it's a habit I'm pleased to maintain.
- Be aware of your vulnerable areas and put steps in place to mitigate them. So, for example, if you know that you find reasons to justify stopping at the petrol station, off licence or supermarket every day, where you then 'accidentally' buy chocolates, wine, cigarettes or scratch cards, intercept those times and don't go. Instead, shop online or make a list and shop once a week. Don't put yourself in temptation's way.
- Using the services of a professional coach or therapist may be worth considering if you feel there are specific issues which are holding you back and which need to be addressed. Regular sessions could help you move on, introduce a positive mindset, manage stress and determine to treat yourself better.
Be gentle with yourself. It can take 2-6 months for a new habit to become your automatic default. If you experience slip ups, bad days and 'can't be bothered's be kind to yourself and let them go. Remind yourself of all the good reasons you have to persist and start again, knowing that by sticking with your good habits you'll ultimately support good results and outcomes.
Susan Leigh, counsellor, hypnotherapist, relationship counsellor, writer & media contributor offers help with relationship issues, stress management, assertiveness and confidence. She works with individual clients, couples and provides corporate workshops and support.
She's author of 3 books, 'Dealing with Stress, Managing its Impact', '101 Days of Inspiration #tipoftheday' and 'Dealing with Death, Coping with the Pain', all on Amazon & with easy to read sections, tips and ideas. To order a copy or for more information, help and free articles visit
Have you ever thought about 'what if'? What if Abraham hadn't gone? What would have happened?
A lot of people came from the lineage of Abraham - Moses, King David, even Jesus Christ. If Abraham hadn't obeyed Gods command would any of those people even exist?
Maybe they would have, but we can't be certain. Everyone knows the basics of science. It takes a certain egg and a certain sperm to make a certain child. Have you ever thought about your own creation? I have. At one point my mother was married to a man and after seven years together they still didn't have children. My mother then had an affair with an older man whom was married to someone else and she conceived within a few "dates". Mothers husband went on to have children with his new wife after they separated and she also went on to have two more of her own. Why didn't they have children together? Why did it take my married biological father and my married mother to conceive me? Because it was the correct egg and sperm for my spirit to inhabit my body.
After my biological father abandoned my mother, she married another man. He was a very angry and abusive person. He tried to bury his hurt and pain by horribly mistreating my mother and drinking hard liquor. He wasn't the type of person that would ever admit that he needed anyone or anything, and unfortunately that man became known to me as my dad. He raised me from the time I was two years of age until I got married the first time at 18.
In my early 20s I became a Christian and one of the first things I started doing was praying for my family to commit their lives to Christ. I knew my dad was hard-hearted and only wanted religion on his terms; he certainly had no idea what a relationship with Jesus Christ would look like. I was the Christian anchor holding my family in place.
One day after being a Christian for a few years, I had had enough of the lifestyle. At that time, my life was taking a turn for the worse. I started thinking, 'if life is this hard being a Christian it couldn't be much harder not being one. Maybe walking away from God would give me some peace'. Then I heard God in my heart, "what about your dad? If you stop serving God, who is going to be the one that will pray for him to become a Christian?" I stopped dead in my tracks. I thought about 'what if'. What if I stop serving God and then everyone in this family is truly lost? It's one thing for me to think about going to hell myself, but it's quite another to take a whole group of people with me.
Needless to say, I didn't quit serving God and almost 40 years later I'm more passionate about my walk with Christ than ever. It took 20 years of praying for my dad and hearing that voice say "your dad will go to Heaven, but it will be a deathbed experience." He was eventually diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver and at the end of his journey he did commit his life to Christ. What if I had walked away from serving God back in my earlier days of struggle and doubt? I totally shudder to think about where I would be personally, but also where my family would have ended up. My mother has also passed away and just like my dad, she became a Christian at the end of her life. My brother accepted Christ too, and I'm still actively praying for my sister and her family.
Sometimes we are asked to do things that we just don't want to do. We may be called into a ministry that is similar to someone who is already successful. What they're doing seems so glamorous compared to what you have been asked to do. They have arrived, they are already living the life that you believe you are called to live... So how did they get there and you are just swimming circles? I watch the women ministers that have made it really big and are doing well with their ministries and I get frustrated sometimes, because I don't want to do the work they did to get there. I often believe God blessed them because they must be doing something right and in turn, I must be doing something wrong. But that's not it at all... It's work. No matter how you slice it - it's work. It may seem glamorous when they are talking about the places they travel to, their great incomes, nice clothes and money to live a good life, but what if they hadn't obeyed God? What if they hadn't done as He told them to do? Many of us would have missed out on tremendous teaching, preaching and life changing experiences if we didn't follow the gentle calling of God on our hearts.
I could sit and list all the things that could have happened if I hadn't obeyed. My 'What If' list would be long and decidedly dark. I'm currently at another 'what if' fork in the road - I'm called to be a Writer/Author/International Seminar Speaker with some preaching sprinkled in here and there. But, there's a price to be paid... I work a full-time day job. I go to work at approximately 7:30AM every day, I get one hour for lunch, and then I'm home at 5:30PM - 5 days a week. I also work some on Saturdays to make some extra money for the household, because our income is limited and the extra Saturday money comes in handy.
I'm tired when I come home and I virtually have no days off. When I don't work at my day job on Saturday, I am buying groceries and trying to have quality time with my husband. On Sunday we go to our Sunday morning church service and then work another service thereafter. I don't know about you, but I'm an introvert. I can be an extrovert to the point that people really think that's my true self, however, I have to have time for myself to regroup and recharge. If I haven't recharged, I'm cross and grumpy and not very good company for anyone. This life situation gives me a whole lot of excuses as to why I can't do what God has asked me to do.
The fact that God hasn't supernaturally changed our financial situation doesn't allow me to use these excuses. I've skirted what I've been called to do for too many years. As I continue aging, it's finally down to the wire.
What about you? What are you going to do with your 'what if' moment? You can't say you don't have one, because we all do. We all have those moments that we feel a stirring in our heart, but we're just not sure if we want to follow that command or not. Don't let your 'what if' moment cause you to lose what is possibly the best thing you will ever receive. I'm glad I didn't give up when faced with mine!
Bridget Johnson is a Writer/Author/International Seminar Speaker and is a Platinum Ezine Author. Bridget lives in Oklahoma with her husband, Peter.
Sure, life is about as good or great as our attitudes and positive persistence genuinely make it. That is one point I agree with William Clement Stone and a few others on "who have it". Honestly though, success can never be taken for granted, and it can never be taken for granted that failure is permanent in my reality and probably universal reality.
Sure, it is possible to "achieve" using force, fraud and "pure dumb luck" at times. This warning is in order though, and it is a simple warning: "Napoleon had his Waterloo, and lost his Star Sapphire charm." Understand? Conscious and honest success that is earned is the best success to have in my opinion and in the best of reality in reality in the opinion of those that are genuinely conscientious and conscious.
The attitude beyond all luck and "providence" is the one thing we genuinely have control of within ourselves whatever the outer conditions. So, we can train ourselves to look for opportunities everywhere that genuinely work for us or hope luck works out "at least". In fact, these words just came to me in a flash "opportunity management is what life comes down to when successful". Failures really do depend on the luck at the beginning of things when successful by chance, and then cannot repeat it with skill when called upon to.
To really win fully, we must develop fully in attitude, skill and understanding tolerance or really, really lose. So, I repeat for emphasis: "Napoleon had his Waterloo, and lost his Star Sapphire charm." Consider that a command for, "Do not depend on 'pure' luck, it will disappoint every time. So will depending on forces "outside of yourself" to genuinely win. After all, winning comes from developing skill and persevering, not lucky chances, charms and tricks a dog can try to do.
So, to end this article on a great note: I can honestly say that I am always striving to have the great and receptive attitude that works to make my life ultimately a winner. I did not say that I was perfect at it. I said that I work at it all the time, listening and realistically receptive, learning all the time why to deal with it with the how and the rest of it. I am grateful for it all, right down to my "check up from the neck up" realities that serve to give me understanding. Thank God I am that rational.
My name is Joshua Clayton, I am a freelance writer based in Inglewood, California. I also write under a few pen-names and aliases, but Joshua Clayton is my real name, and I write by that for the most part now. I am a philosophical writer and objective thinker and honest action taker. I also work at a senior center in Gardena, California as my day job, among other things, but primarily I am a writer.
Are you perhaps feeling that now's the time to improve your health and your life? Good habits are often crucial to achieving good results and a positive outcome.
You may be looking to lose weight, become fitter, more successful, are motivated to do well at work or feel it's time to extend your circle of friends; all require sustained effort to continue beyond the first few enthusiastic days.
Let good habits support good results
- The first thing to appreciate about good habits is that they must have a real resonance for you. If you're not especially bothered about being slimmer, fitter or more successful, then that lack of enthusiasm won't sustain you through cold dark evenings or on the tough days when your will power starts to waver. Having friends or family who are pushing you to 'improve' only increases your stress levels, resentment and maybe even feelings of low self-esteem. Pick good habits that feel right for you.
- Small steps are a positive way to move towards your bigger goals. Stepping-stones can help to prevent you from feeling overwhelmed at having to tackle everything all at once. Recognise each milestone you achieve; give yourself credit for enrolling in that class, not eating that cake, declining that alcoholic drink. Each decision takes you nearer to those good results.
- Stay focused, but also appreciate that sometimes other options may appear which can add value to your life. Don't allow yourself to become too distracted from your agreed good habits but equally be ready for great opportunities that may come along. Ring-fence the time, money or mental energy you expend on distractions. Allow yourself to make the most of them and enjoy what they bring to your life, but don't let them take you away from the big picture and your ultimate goal.
- Being accountable to others can be a great motivator. Having to check in regularly and report on your progress ensures that you keep your eye on each stage of the journey. Knowing that you've a regular date in the diary can quickly push temptations out of your mind.
- Joining a group and working together on shared goals can provide a good support network. Exchanging tips, advice and motivational stories can give a real boost on those tired, unenthusiastic days. And if we know our attendance is important to the group's survival it can inspire us to continue going. Being a group member, even when it's online, can encourage us to stick with our good habits. The downside though is that if one or two members lose their enthusiasm it can demotivate the rest.
- Sometimes paying upfront to join a club or gym pushes people to go regularly, whilst others lose interest and go only a couple of times even after paying out all that money. For me, I've committed to a weekly delivery of locally grown organic vegetables. It's inspired me to eat at least one item from the box every day and it's good to cook from scratch, eat fresh organic meals, shop local and sometimes try new things that I've never cooked before. Having it arrive every week means there's no excuse to slack off from eating this healthy veg, and it's a habit I'm pleased to maintain.
- Be aware of your vulnerable areas and put steps in place to mitigate them. So, for example, if you know that you find reasons to justify stopping at the petrol station, off licence or supermarket every day, where you then 'accidentally' buy chocolates, wine, cigarettes or scratch cards, intercept those times and don't go. Instead, shop online or make a list and shop once a week. Don't put yourself in temptation's way.
- Using the services of a professional coach or therapist may be worth considering if you feel there are specific issues which are holding you back and which need to be addressed. Regular sessions could help you move on, introduce a positive mindset, manage stress and determine to treat yourself better.
Be gentle with yourself. It can take 2-6 months for a new habit to become your automatic default. If you experience slip ups, bad days and 'can't be bothered's be kind to yourself and let them go. Remind yourself of all the good reasons you have to persist and start again, knowing that by sticking with your good habits you'll ultimately support good results and outcomes.
Susan Leigh, counsellor, hypnotherapist, relationship counsellor, writer & media contributor offers help with relationship issues, stress management, assertiveness and confidence. She works with individual clients, couples and provides corporate workshops and support.
She's author of 3 books, 'Dealing with Stress, Managing its Impact', '101 Days of Inspiration #tipoftheday' and 'Dealing with Death, Coping with the Pain', all on Amazon & with easy to read sections, tips and ideas. To order a copy or for more information, help and free articles visit
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